Something's Different

Something clicked in me today. I realized that I've once again recreated my body. I'd done it once before in 2003-2004 without consciously trying. This time was different though. This time I've worked hard at it. I've altered my way of eating and my daily food choices. I've exercised like a mad woman, almost every single day for six months. This truly is a new way of life for me. I look forward to challenging myself physically, can't wait for Dallas' Happy Hour each week, love to find new hikes to explore, and while I can't say I exactly love running yet, I AM running – 25 minutes at a time so far, and have entered my first 5K. These are big changes.

So, as I thought about Thanksgiving, and Christmas, coming up, I thought about whether I would gain weight or not. And I suddenly realized: it didn't really matter if I gained a pound or two this weekend. What???? Is this the obsessive constantly on the scale, tracking every possible variable number girl? Yes it is. Since I hurt my leg at the end of September I haven't been tracking my food intake or exercise. Why?

On the Food: I KNOW how to eat now; choose low or no fat over regular fat, keep portions small (deck of cards, deck of cards runs through my head when I occasionally run across a barbequed steak on my counter), load up on veggies and salads (my dinner plate is ALWAYS at least half veggies and salad). I love my morning smoothies and even tho I got sidetracked by grilled cheese sandwiches this past month (made with PAM or I Can't Believe it's Not Butter spray, and often with mushrooms and spinach), I have reverted back to the smoothies – by choice, not because I have to.

On the Activity Level: I LOVE being active again, feeling my body move and do things it couldn't do a month or a week ago, lifting heavier weights, actually running (okay, jogging, but in my mind it counts as running), being able to sprint up stairs, feeling light in my steps. That had changed for me at one point; I stopped doing anything active for I can't remember exactly how long, but I know it was a long time. I never ever want to revisit how I felt then. The best I could do was get up to work, the rest of the time I pretty much stayed in bed or sat at the computer. Mind you, I still spend probably too much time on the computer, but the point is I now balance it out with being active almost every single day.

So, as I head into Thanksgiving weekend, I'm not scared about eating too much. I'm sure I'll have some of all my favorites, and probably some mayo on that turkey sandwich, and even if I gain a pound or two, I know that it won't be permanent. It would take a whole lot of work and determination to put back all these pounds and inches I've lost, and I'm just not motivated in that direction, ya know?

Also as I head into this weekend, I feel profoundly grateful for all the blessings in my life; my three wonderful, independent, loving children, my friends, my work, my home, the ability to go to the beach, my health, and my online friends who have motivated, inspired and supported me in quitting smoking and getting healthy through eating right and exercising. I hope you all also appreciate what you have and enjoy the coming holidays in good health.
-aloha

I DID IT!!!!!! - Part II

Well, I did it. No, not run 20 minutes again. That will be Friday or Saturday. Actually 25 minutes. I signed up for my first 5K. I'm happy, excited, and scared all at the same time. I'm reminding myself that I don't have to run the whole 5K (notice how I don't call it a race?), since I've yet to do that even in the gym. The point is to go out there and have fun, challenge myself to do something I've never done before, and complete it.

I've gotten back into the tread running on a regular basis, and ran 8/5/8 with 3 min walks in between on Monday, and two 10 minute runs with a 3 minute walk in between today. My shins get a little sore, and today my HR was almost up to max, so I slowed the pace down a bit for the last few minutes. Oh yeah, I also increased my pace today -2/10ths of a whatever it is on the tread. Maybe by the time of this 5K my pace will be up to where I can complete it in 45 minutes. I know that sounds really slow, but considering I couldn't even walk for 10 minutes at a 2.1 pace 6 months ago, I'm doing okay. I need to give myself a break, and realize I can't keep up with people 15-20 years younger than me – yet. Although I'm hoping that day will come.

Oh! The other good thing is that my 157 weight the other day was not some aberration. Today, on my official Wednesday weigh in, I was at 156.4. Only 12.4 pounds to go to my goal weight. I'm more than ¾ there! Yee hah!!!

One more good thing. Well, actually two. An old friend called last night and she said after seeing me about a month ago, that she is inspired to get healthy again. She's seeing a nutritionist and wants to join a gym. So, I'm going to show her around mine on Saturday, and encourage her to start where she's at and build from there. The other good thing is Sarah, who I met hiking a few weeks ago, is still interested in the Xterra 5K. I just sent her the link and hopefully she'll sign up too.

Okay, one last good thing. I'm going to AZ to see my boys, and hopefully daughter, too, next week for Thanksgiving. I have lots to be thankful for, including you, my inspiring blog peeps.

I DID IT!!!!!!

I ran 20 minutes this morning!!!!! I tried on Tuesday, but had to slow it down after 12 minutes because my shins were hurting. I really didn't want to deal with another injury. But this morning I did it. I'm not saying it was easy, but it wasn't that hard either. And I'm pretty sure I can do it again. After that I went to a strengthtraining class. I noticed that I felt weaker than usual. Probably because of the run right before. So, I guess this means I'll sign up for that 5K. I hope they give us as much time as we need to complete it, because I am very slow. I mean super slow.

The other exciting that happened was I broke through that weight plateau I've been cruising on for over a month. This morning, despite the grilled cheese sandwich I had last night, I weighed 157!!! Yee hah! In the 150s. I'm proud of myself for keeping on when the weight wasn't coming off. It helped that the inches were and that more and more clothes are just too loose to wear. But in the 150s. That makes me do a happy dance.

I was planning on either a hike or some more bodyboarding today, but it is overcast and looks like it might rain hard Here's a pic from my balcony yesterday morning. Rain brings its own rewards. If it continues cloudy today I think I'll go in search of a new bathing suit top. I'm about ready to get back into two pieces – let my stomach get some sun. One of my mottos is “Fat looks better tan,” but some things shouldn't be seen. I'm feeling like its getting small enough to be allowed out in the light of day again. All kinds of progress. Yippee!!!

AWOL but Doing Stuff

Since my computer crash I've been gone, but not because I wanted to be. I tried to post something last week, but I lost it when I hit Publish. This time I'll be smart and save it first. (just tried that and I can't do it)

Synopsis: I didn't lose any weight last week. I did lose 10 inches last month and am fitting into some of my old fave clothes, even tho I weigh 15 pounds more than I did then. Guess I'm doing something right. I haven't fit in the 20 minute run, but intend to this week - again. My leg is totally healed. Even though I haven't done the 20 minute run (actually I haven't seen that part of the gym for over a week), I've gone to strength training classes twice a week. I went on an awesome hike with my friends from Kauai, John and Sue. The Likeke Falls one, but this time we went all the way up to the Pali lookout. This pic is of where we started from (the building down below) Another one of those big elevation hikes. It was fun! I only had to stop once or twice, and covered that by taking pics of John and Sue. And, the other really cool thing is that I met a potential new hiking/training buddy who said she would love to do the Xterra Kualoa 5 K with me in December! Yeah! Really hope that works out. We really had fun this weekend. Don't John and Sue look happy? I don't have any pics of Kalama's, but trust me when I say the waves were great!!!!!

What a week

This really has been the most stressful week since I was being stalked by my ex more than 15 years ago. I knew I was going to help my daughter with her final move to the mainland during the three days she was back in town and that it might impact my usual program. But, here's the Top Ten List of What I Didn't Know Beforehand;

1) my computer would totally crash the first day,
2) the cleaning I did at her apartment a few days before would just be the tip of the iceberg,
3) she would get really really sick the second day (thought it was a UTI, turned out to be e coli), 4) she was storing that much stuff at my house (she had asked, I just didn't get what I'd agreed to), and I'd have to find a place for it all,
5) when a computer guy takes your hard drive and puts it in an external hard drive enclosure it doesn't mean you can access and use what's there,
6) even if you call to check on when they're open and you rush to get there, it doesn't mean said computer guy will be there during open hours,
7) even though computer guy made the external hard drive for you, it doesn't mean he will help you figure out how to use it,
8) Windows Vista is nothing like Windows XP and doesn't like any of the apps and programs created on earlier versions,
9) even when you figure out how to re-create some of your most important stuff, it doesn't mean that it won't disappear and you have to start all over again, and
10) even when you're pretty good at backing stuff up, it really really really sucks when you have to get a new computer because of a crash.

So, that's where I've been - computer hell. Still trying to get things working, semi-successfully. Hopefully I'll be able to do my monthly billing tomorrow. Just glad I was able to find my way back here even though it was a twisty path getting here.

Another thing that's made this a stressful week is that my oldest son is dealing with the imminent passing of his dad. They're pulling his feeding tube, so he has less than a week to live most likely. I'm struggling with how to best support my son - Do I fly to where his dad is? Do I just be available on the phone? Is it okay to wait until Thanksgiving when I planned to go be with both my sons?

All of these things have made it hard for me to focus on my health. I've been eating okay mostly, but binging a little. I haven't been tracking either food or exercise. I've been to the gym a couple of times. Helping with the move was a workout, but I haven't fit in the 20 minute run that was next up. I just feel really overwhelmed. And I have a new appreciation for everyone who works full time, is a parent, and/or is dealing with their own or loved ones' challenges, and still finds time to make their health a priority by eating healthy and exercising.

I'm sure things will get back to normal soon and I'm really looking forward to having fun again. John and Sue are coming over from Kauai next weekend, so it will be fun showing Sue around Oahu. Depending on the weather, we'll either go snorkeling, hiking, and/or bodyboarding.

In the meantime I'm going to keep getting this new stupid a## computer working like I need it to do, and fit in some exercise when I can. Over and out -aloha