So, it took me until Friday to go to the gym again. I found all kinds of ways to avoid it; catching up with stuff around the house, gardening, etc, etc. But, yesterday I woke up and just wanted to go. That is a new feeling for me. I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to do even the little I had been able to do the week before. But, lo and behold!!!! I not only did as much, I did more than last week. I started on the torture machine. I swear I forgot the name of it until about an hour ago. I keep wanting to call it The Equalizer for some reason. The Elliptical, that's it. Anyways, did six minutes yesterday. Mind you, I was sweating away, hanging on to those bar thingies for dear life, but I made it through and burned 54 calories. Then, on to my favorite..the bike. I set it for random hills again, and did 15 minutes plus a 2 minute cool down for 113 calories. That is a total of 21 minutes and 167 calories! More than the week before!
Well, today I went again, because I just can't quite convince myself 100% that gardening counts as one of the 3-5 times of exercise for the week. On the way there I almost started crying, I'm not sure why exactly, but I know it has to do with shame and feeling like I didn't want anyone to look at me, that I am too fat and people will be thinking all kinds of bad things about me. I almost pulled over and called Michelle http://diaryofanaspiringloser.blogspot.com/ to get a pep talk, but I made it there on my own. And lo and behold again!!! I actually exercised for 30 minutes today!! 7 on the Torturer, 27 on the bike. Let me say that again. I EXERCISED FOR OVER 30 MINUTES STRAIGHT TODAY!!!!!!!! That is twice the length of time I could do just a few weeks ago. Progress!!! AND!!! I burned 212 calories. DOUBLE what I was burning at first.
This was so so motivating for me. And, another good thing is that I set the random hill bike level at 10 and it only paused once because I got below 40 rpms on the highest hill. I was working really really hard at climbing those hills, and I don't know if everyone's gym is like this, but people at my gym do not make any sounds like they are exerting themselves, so when I let out a few good "whews" I felt very conspicuous. I tried to be "vewwy vewwy quiet" after that. The other thing that has me kind of self conscious is that I tend to sweat a lot, I mean more than most people. I of course have a towel with me, and usually wear a t-shirt rather than a tank top, but it is kind of embarassing when sweat is rolling down my face. I just keep reminding myself it doesn't matter what anyone thinks, I am doing this to get healthier. I just don't make much eye contact, and that seems to help. Bringing a book also helps, but today I was finding that I had to really concentrate on the hills, and wasn't able to read much.
Here's one more positive thing to report. My feet are totally used to shoes and socks now. My toes only give the slightest wiggle when I first put the socks on, and then they relax and I don't hear a thing from them the whole rest of the time. Cross another excuse off the list.
Michelle made a list of the top ten things that have changed since she has lost 67.4 pounds. Yeah, Michelle!!!! 75% of the way to your goal!!! That got me to thinking that maybe I would make a list of goals for myself soon. Other than the amount of weight I want to lose, of course. As I started this journey a little over three weeks ago, I was afraid to actually hope and visualize where I wanted to go with this, because I was afraid I would drop out or fail. I'm beginning to believe that this journey, like my no smoking one, is going to lead me through some unforseen rough spots, but that it will end up bringing me more happiness than I imagined. For now I'm going to keep working on doubling my efforts and hopefully that will lead to doubling my fun.
Mace's first dance. 1-21-18
2 months ago